Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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