3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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