Please, let me fuck your mom
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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