Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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