Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
