I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
