i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Blood and glitter go together right?
I stole a fireplace last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
is it fun? or sober?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
