I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
