she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
