I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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