No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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