he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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