don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
