how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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