He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
