So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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