hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
