dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize