Umm I'm too high to move.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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