Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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