ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
