D3 body, D1 cock
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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