He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
