the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
