Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
