I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
