I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
