what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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