Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
