They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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