What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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