It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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