I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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