I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
