I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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