NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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