do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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