The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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