Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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