hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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