its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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