If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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