i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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