The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
