After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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