I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Panties = found
Randomize
