I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
