mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
