i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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