pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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