A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it glows. i had to have it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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