Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
