Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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