im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
