i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
