cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
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I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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